Or, "A little spam really can ruin your day".

So I stick up the Premiere Services mirror a few ages ago. And it sits there. I get a little feedback. A few links in Interesting Places grow, but nothing really comes of it. Not even that C&D that made 'em look real finds its way to me. (Maybe she realized that a statement from her that she did indeed send spam was not the best replacement. Maybe the SEC just had her distracted. Doesn't matter.).

[Insert animation of a calendar dropping pages the way they do. Then, fade to a stainless-steel future where every bubble-car sprouts a flag and the streetlights say tell you to Go To Bed if you're out close to Curfew.]

Out past the Statute of Limitations, the great-great-granddaughter of the Man In The Wilderness looks through a valise of yellowed newspaper clippings and smeared inkjet printouts.

"Who the hell is Jimmy Hoffa?", she wonders, looking bemusedly at an autographed picture taken at the Summer Olympics sometime in the late 1990s.

She sorts the clippings into piles: "Famous Dead People", "Pre-Union Canadian Memorabilia", "Diebold voting machine stubs from back when they still had humans vote", and "Email, whatever that was."

A large glass scorpion dashes out of the last pile, scattering papers willy-nilly. And this is what it scattered.

1933
Securities Act passed.

1934
Exchange Act passed.

2000

Time unknown: Premiere.cluelessfucks.com gets a takedown request. Unfortunately, they've been eaten by some twat trying for High Traffic Through Javascript Traps. If anyone has the cluelessfucks takedown request and attendant data, I'd appreciate it if they'd send me a copy..

May: it is reported that someone connected to Premier sent a pile of spam with a bogus return address at cloanto.it. Specifics are not reported as the case is still open.

June 24: Some (t)wit claims that one of the mirror-operators is trying to frame Rodona. Said (t)wit, however, isn't quite clueful enough to tell the difference between the mirror-operator and his sysadmin.

2002

February 22: SEC files an action against Mark E. Rice.

February 25: SEC announces Intent To Ream against Rice.

March 5: SEC tells Rice Not To Break The Law Again. Rice agrees.

March 14 (or 12?): SEC announces that it has announced that Mark Rice has been Spanked on the fifth.

March 15: Rice agrees to stay out of penny stocks from now on.

June 26: SEC orders Primex and Applegate Sentry (Rice-linked companies) to Pay Up.

July 24: SEC Announces Intent To Spank Rodona.

August 20: SEC tells Portalzone (now Status Wines of Tuscany) not to break the law any more.

September 11: SEC Reams Mark Rice in absentia to the tune of a million and a half.

December 11: SEC Spanking - While not admitting or denying anything except that what the SEC claims she did is, in fact, under SEC jurisdiction, Rodona agrees to pay $15,673 (the funds paid her by Mark E. Rice, her profits from sale of stock that she never admits nor denies illegally touting, and and $2,130 in interest.)